New Place, New Hopes // Turning 18

January 03, 2019

New Place, New Hopes // Turning 18

Halo! I tried to always make a post of me getting older even though the post is (really) late. On 25th of October 2018, I turned

eighteen years old

18! Oh how old I am. I didn't feel I have already passed my 17 time, felt like everything on my 17 times happened really fast and really hectic. The time when I finally had to stand on my own choice. The time when I went to college. The time when I had to ride by my own.

2018 has been the craziest year of my life; tahun perjuangan. I fought to reach the gate of my dream. To only reach the gate was really crazy. And I did it. The next step is to walk on the path to reach my dream. I've stepped on the path with so many surprising things, the path I mean is college. Udayana University, Medical Faculty, Psychology department is my path. The path is full of fire, storms, rains, and also of rainbows and sparkles. Through this post, I wanna share to whoever you are what I've found while stepping on the path as I turned to be 18.

1. Living at kost

my "bed" in my first room

The first day of being at kost was shocking; I cried, really :). The kost has 2 floors and I stayed on the first. It was hela empty when I first stayed in, no bed, no chair, no bathtub for taking a bath. I brought a carpet, blanket, a sleepingbag, a pillow, and my unicorn for sleeping. I brought a mini table for making orientation (ospek) tasks. It was really weird to be alone at a place without literally anyone. But, I only spent a night at that kost and moved to the another one because the previous one is not exclusive for the female and I wasn't comfortable with the voice of men while I was about to sleep :(. At the new one, I stayed in the 2nd floor of 3 floors and I'm ok with the idea of having walks on the stairs. The room wasn't as empty as the previous one, at least there was a table, but no chair :v. I still slept with no bed on the first and some nights at my new kost due to the effort to bring a bed from Bangli to Denpasar. My back was in pain for some nights :').

I found that living alone is something exciting for me, finally. Tho' I have to control my money, to look for stuff including food by my own, to go everywhere by my own and everything by my own. But, the hardest part is to keep my room clean as I use my energy the most for college activities and when I arrive at kost, I have none :).

Overall, it's fun to do stuff alone by my own. I feel much more independent than before and I'll learn more on depending on myself first before depending on others. Yeah, there's the hardest thing to do alone by my own; getting rid of cockroach.

my new room with a real bed

2. College

Studying in college about psychology has been my dream as a student. About helping human. Studying psychology turns out to be one of the causes of my stress :). Although it's my dream to study about it but there's no easy word to describe psychology. It's complex. Especially biopsychology. My college time is not only full of studying but also other soft-skilled activities. I joined Kelompok Mahasiswa Peduli Kanker (Kompak) and Lembaga Pers Mahasiswa Pers and Cyber Community (LPM Pcyco). I realized that I can't only depend on my marks to reach my dream of my life, there are so many things I can't get by reaching a good mark on the paper, well at least that's my opinion.

Being in college is really different from being in high school and I attack the belief of being in college is less stress, more time to have fun, more time to hang out than being in high school 'cause IT'S FUCKING NOT LESS ENERGY FOR SURVIVING IN COLLEGE, MY DEAR. To survive at college, for me personally, the basic key is time management. How to focus on the academic, to give times for growing my self by nonacademic activities, and to love my self by restarting my energy. I'm still learning to get the proper time management to survive in here. I bought an agenda and I failed on managing the time with it :'v. But, now I have the new one for this year (2019).

It's cute, isn't it? It's pink, sparkle, and unicorn <3. Some of you may think that it's a waste of money to buy it while I have failed on using the previous one. I don't mind your opinion because I, to be honest, feel that I manage myself better than before. Well, let's just hope I will survive with this agenda 'til I reach the end of 2019 ya.

About the studying process, I feel that at college I really need to boost the oxygen supply to my brain as the material for the studying can make my brain explode :). Especially there's a must-have book that written in English:(. My studying process is mostly done at kost rather than at class. I HAVE to review and understand the concept by my own if I want to pass the minimum mark of the mid and final test. So far, with all the downs of being at college, I enjoy it:).

3. Friends?

Being in a new place where I'll spend 4 years of my ages in it was full of the idea of I won't get a friend. Ya unless Indi ofc because I've been friend with her dari orok wkwkwk. But, seriously, I was full of that thought. What if I don't get a new friend. What if people can't accept me and what if I can't accept other people. The fact of being in college turned out to be this

I HAVE NEW FRIENDS. My friends are like rainbow; they are different from me. Some of them maybe not clicked with me and I maybe either. And I think that it's time for me to start living with the-not-clicked one, at least to have some interaction with them;). Of course I'm not not clicked with everyone at my class and it's normal.

They fill my days in college with sparkles, and sometimes storms.

Even we just know each other for 6 months, I'm fully grateful they appeared in my life and I'm fully grateful I know those souls, they who are clicked with me and they who sometimes are :v.

I also have a new team, anak komplek; we are the alumni of Smanichi who study in Unud :v but we're from different department. We live separately ofc and we rarely see each other :(. I'm lucky to have them, anak Bangli, in this tough city; Denpasar. But, one of thosein this picture is not anak komplek because she studies in Jimbaran not in Denpasar wlee (To Ayukir).

I can't write much about my new friends as I'm confused which memory should I put in here (lumayan banyak), but you get the point, I get some new friends.

4. Different Land

I've been with Adit for 2 years and we have to live in the different land for the next 4 years aka to have a long distance relationship. I was skeptic with myself that I'd be not that ngenes and would live my life as nothing changed and I was wrong; gua ngenes goblok. I felt weird in the beginning of doing stuff without him. Could only share my day through phone was weird at first. And we are also getting busier with each others' business. It was hard, but I try to let it be and just live with it.

The thing I disgust myself of is that I get MAD (and a lil bit envy) seeing other people with their love, especially when having supper or launch. They talk and share everything while me wanting to nyumpel mulut mereka "gua ngenes bego", I know, I'm disgusting :)))). It just naturally happen, the feeling of wanting the same thing, ugh I hate talking about it forget it, ok. ~~Thank u~~, next,
we still can communicate through vidcall tho' if we start to forget each others' faces, well that's too much but you get the point.

Being in different land makes us more mature, I guess. We (finally) rarely argue about the not-so-important thing : v. We start to respect more about each others' business, personal space, time, emotion, feeling, etc. The thing is that we're fine, am I right? ofc.

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Well, that's is that the 4 major things that happen to me for living 18 years in this world, but finally in different place with my previous comfortable place. Being in a different place means different life, different people, and even different me. I hope that in this different place, I will keep more positivity on me of living, I can love the process of being a colleger, I can live well with different people and have a strong relationship with some, and I hope Adit and I will survive for the next 4 years :p.

New place, new hopes that I have never hoped before.

Happy birthday, dear me.

Oh, I also wanna share some gifts from my loves;)